


Two Letter Difference

by BrokenTourniquet



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shifter, Background Angst, F/F, Lion!Laura, Panther!Carmilla, Shifter AU, the fandom needs fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:20:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5662750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenTourniquet/pseuds/BrokenTourniquet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura is new to being a shifter...everyone freaks out about it. Yellow eyes follow her every time she shifts, she meets the Panther they belong to in more ways than one. It's surprising but not at the same time. When she realizes the shifter they belong to, it makes it better somehow. How easy does it feel to fall into routine with someone like Carmilla? An easy routine that feels right? She's going to learn.</p><p>Laura is Oblivious a lot.<br/>Carmilla is Obvious a lot.<br/>There is a two letter difference between the words, how are they so similar?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Letter Difference

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this is the “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn” AU WITH A TWIST.
> 
> It's going to be more Fluff than anything, because this fandom needs fluff. Less fighting and more sorting things out...and snuggling. Who DOESNT love Hollstein fluff though? Let's be real.
> 
> There IS a reason everyone is acting the way they are. Trying to be careful about shifting, second chapter just might reveal it. If there's anything you'd like me to expand upon PLEASE let me know!
> 
> Chapter one AKA: Six times Laura shifts. One time Carmilla helps, and it changes it a lot.

Laura Hollis. Investigative Journalist (sort of), nerd (completely), Tiny Gay ball (totally), empathic girl (sorta), completely school focused (well...), Overprotected (way over protected), new shifter (what?), Laura Hollis.

Well, you're not sure that anyone would use half of those to describe you. Especially the overprotected part, mainly because your dad, Danny, and friends just want you to be safe. You love them all with your heart, you really do it's just...hard to deal with sometimes. Danny and LaF constantly fighting lately about giving you breathing room, Perry, and Danny fighting over perfect late night times. It's becoming suffocating in your dorm. Which says something now that you have the room to yourself.

Betty, your previous roommate had had enough of everyone's bullshit and moved rooms. She's with Elsie now...you think? You didn't pay attention to that part, but she's still a good friend! You go over to her dorm whenever you can for a few minutes just to breathe, Elsie is nice. She texts you...though it mainly consists of 'kick their asses and take your life back' which in all honesty...is tempting. So Betty moved out and you have the full room to yourself, it's worse now because now everyone just barges in. You don't notice half the time but it gets on your nerves.

Thinking about it...Betty's bed is now full of papers, books, and other shit from trying to catch up with homework. It sucks because you're behind and been trying to pull all nighters but it doesn't seem to pan out like you think it should. You stay up till the brink of dawn some nights and it feels like you've taken five steps back, along with a freight train to your brain because...really? How much homework do they assign? A full bus worth? You don't care that it's an exaggeration. You feel it's the truth.

On top of all of that...you found out- well _experienced_ -you were a shifter. You didn't even know it was a thing! A fairy tale at best! Yet you woke up in your bed sheets shredded, clothes torn, and claw marks in the wood of your floor that is now hidden by the throw rug you placed over it. You freaked out and called LaF. They rushed over with Perry and they both looked confused as they explained it to you until they realized you didn't even know what you were. How dangerous it was...So Danny was called. She sat with you and explained it. You're still having a hard time getting your brain around it but it's...cool? You guess.

You got so upset by the discovery and the knowledge you called your dad, adrenaline still high, body still not to its normal state and yelled at him. He was guilty and tried to calm you down but you ended up just making these animalistic sounds at him (it's embarrassing now to think about) he was silenced until you finished your complete two-hour rant at him. Once you were done you let him talk. He explained it to you.

Your mother was a shifter, he's a shifter, but after your mother disappeared he thought he could keep it from you and keep you safe. He'd had your abilities locked or something for a few extra years. Something on campus must have messed with the lock and let this side of you appear. He just didn't want you to be hunted like your mother was and you understood, you asked about her but he refused to comment. Apparently Lioness shifters were very rare now. As rare as Panther, Cheetah, and Bear. You took after your mother, lioness, but your dad is one of the few bear shifters left. So it makes you naturally stronger? you think. A double rarity to have both genes. You're a pretty prize to hunters.

Your mother was apparently famous in the shifter world, a heroic icon in some ways. You don't know the full story because no one will tell you but...the best thing to come out of this shifter mess was a part of her passed onto you. Everything is wonky though with all the stress you're under.

College was supposed to be carefree! Time to experiment! Not to nearly pass out or claw someone to death because they looked at you wrong due to you being far too stressed out and all over the place! Things never seem to work the way you want them to.

But right now? You're dreaming...or at least, you think you are. _You're dreaming of the stag again, this always happens when you can't control your animal side (because your dad never taught you)._

_The stag is a perfect shade of gold. So gold and gleaming in the moonlight beneath the trees and forest...it's so gorgeous, you think. It beckons you to follow and you can feel your stomach growl. It's enticing to your animal side, entrancing to the human side. That's a deadly combination as you stalk forward after it. It's eyes turning to watch you as you freeze in a moments notice._

_It doesn't see you so it moves on. You follow._

_The tree's aren't too thick here, the moon giving the perfect light. Not that you'd need it. Brush and tall grass concealing you just right, and you're able to move along it just behind the stag. It's a perfect vantage point until you can...well you're not sure what you're going to do. A part of you says to catch it, the other says study it. It's conflicting, to say the least, when what you want to do conflicts._

_You accidentally step on a twig as you mull it over, trying to figure it out, your paw breaking the twig loudly. The stag's head shoots up and stares in your direction. After a few seconds and the movements of it's ears you know you've been caught. The stag races off._

_Just as you're about to run off and try your damndest to catch it, a familiar set of yellow eyes watches you from the dark. You watch them and feel a sense of comfort and familiarity you didn't notice before in the back of your mind washing over you. Looking at the eyes tells you to stop, to listen. So you do. You utterly trust the eyes and you have no idea why but you don't really care because for some reason the eyes just are. You just work with them. You stop and listen._

_For a few minutes after staring at the eyes, you hear nothing. Then you hear the thump. In the distance. Like a hand hitting wood..._

_Then it happens again. Thump. This time closer. The eyes sadden at you. As if they're apologizing._

_Thump. Louder. Closer._

_THUMP. THUMP. Frantic this time. Like someone being locked in a-_

_You vision blurs and reddens. It shifts painfully when it clears you to see dirt before wood encases you. You realize where you are...in a coffin? But quickly blood fills it to the brim. You can't breathe. You can't-_

Your body snaps awake. You sit up panting and breathing hard. You rarely have the last bit of that dream. Being locked in a cold wooden box, filled with blood, not in your body as hands desperately try to bang against wood. Begging in another language taking place. It's all so...surreal. Why do you have it? You don't know.

Your breathing slows down as you look to the ground and take in your surroundings. Dirt..? Grass? Freshly cut? This highly confuses you until you look up and find the building there. Apartments? Dorms? Your eyes still moving around far too fast for you to take it in completely. You do relax though at the idea you're still near campus this time. You don't have to trek through the forest again to find your way to your dorm.

You sigh and lean back on your elbows for a moment. Your heart slows down to a somewhat regular beat and you relax a little. Happy you're safe so Danny doesn't kill you. You're just happy, so happy that you don't have to worry about the idea of Danny finding you in the forest. That might get you another lecture. The thought causes your lungs to stall for a moment, you hate the look in her eyes. It's just different for you.

You weren't trained like she was, you had no clan. Your mother never taught you! Your father hid this from you, what could you do? You like her. You really do, she all kinds of righteous, wicked badass but...she's too much sometimes. It sucks because you thought maybe there could be something with the valkyrie, yet? You just want to escape. You're not a wolf like her. Your family hasn't gone so many centuries perfecting techniques to teach. You didn't have what she did growing up. She can't seem to understand that.

Before you can continue your train of thought, you can feel eyes on you. It must be a shifter thing because you just...feel them before you open your eyes. There's a sense of familiarity to them, it's uncanny and...warm? At that thought, you open your eyes.

You're met with familiar, dark, mysterious brown orbs watching you. Your breath is caught in your throat at the expression, confusion. You can't make yourself breathe because it just looks so good on her, which confuses _you._ How the hell does something like that look like...it just did? Her eyes may be brown but you swear they're liquid gold. They're just staring into your own eyes, and good lord how do eyes look like that? Were her parents aware that they gave birth to a woman who had golden stars in her eyes?

Her jaw is something else. 'Like the gods sculpted it themselves' you think you heard Elsie say once in class. How right could she be? You've always been aware that she was correct. It just seems to be more prominent now with the how the light is casting upon her face. If you could find a way to describe it you think it'd be something like old greek myths describe goddesses. So beautiful, surely another was jealous of such beauty and want to harm her. The thought someone wanted to harm her made a small growl escape your lips, you clasped a hand over your mouth.

One of her brows quirked up as she released her dark curly locks from a hand, you watch the way her brow arches upward. Her lips press into a thin line and you can't help but stare. It's such a small gesture, so why are you noticing it now? Dear lord...hormones? Are shifter abilities messing with you?

You blink and take in as much of her figure as you can see. Pale skin, she's probably an inch or two taller than you, a PVRIS (you think they're a good band) shirt, and you're certain she probably has plaid pajama pants on. It's odd but it all looks so good on her, despite her having just woken up or getting ready to go to bed probably. Your lips part at the thought.

Her eyes change into...concern? That's what snaps you out of your trance she put you under. Oh god...it's Carmilla. The Carmilla down the hall from your room. Broody, gay, disaffected, just wants to read a book by herself, ladies woman Carmilla fucking Karnstein. You should be very concerned about the thoughts you just had about running your thumb over her lips but your mind is trying to process why the fuck she'd be concerned about you? She seemed to dislike everyone. So why you?

Her eyes flicker down and surprise catches her eyes. Some part of you expected her to smirk as you look down. You gasp and look back up at her. She meets your eyes and waits, her mouth opening to say something.

Well fuck. Of course, you had to.

You're near the tree, you're in the dirt, you always wake up naked, so why did you expect this to be different? You stand up in a panic and cover yourself.

Before you can overthink it, you take off full sprint, shifter abilities and all into the forest. Once you're a safe enough distance away, you wonder and think about her seeing you. That has to be bad right? Right? Probably. Then you remember how tired she looked. That gave you hope, she looked like she hadn't slept in days. So maybe she thought...maybe she'd think she dreamt it.

You groan and hit your head against the shed berating yourself for letting this happen. You just had to shift. You just had to wake up there. You just had to do it all so wrong! What was wrong with you? Could you control yourself, right?

Apparently wrong.

You growl and fight with yourself for several minutes over it as you get dressed. You and your friends had this set up in the forest because...well all of you had urges to shift. You shredded your clothes, the others outgrew or shrunk in size. Leaving clothes useless, or they took them off and threw them in this shed for later along with a few other things. You were thankful you purposefully left more than a couple of changes of clothes. It helps, greatly.

A sigh escapes your lips in frustration and you move on. Thankfully not many are up at this hour, you can easily make it to your dorm room without being caught.

Unfortunately, this also means Lola Perry is up. So when she catches you in the hall nearing your room, she stops you and pulls you aside. Your head instantly bows feeling ashamed in some way as she lectures you. She makes it a point to say you're all animals but don't have to act like it. Danny's training should be helping. If not, speak to her. You remain quiet, she goes on and on...you don't exactly listen.

It's all been said and heard before.

You spend the day ignoring texts, people, knocks at your door, and going out (mainly because, how are you supposed to face Carmilla again?) to the point Perry comes into lecture you about that too. You ask a few questions and somehow she mentions LaFontaine and Danny knowing. You panic. It shows because she explains she meant just the idea of it...which is bad because they're already down each others necks constantly. LaF is like your sibling so it bothers you they don't get along.

After Perry is done, you do as she suggested and shoot Danny a vague text (as vague as possible) about shifting in odd locations, and ways to fix that. You get a reply which means she doesn't understand. You sigh and tell her nothing. It's frustrating.

The next day IS NOT any better. Hell in a way...you think it's much worse.

Ever since you started shifting you've been having the hardest fucking time in the world. Your dad doesn't want to answer anything you have to ask, says it's not his place because he doesn't know what it's like to be a lion shifter. It's different for any shifter, and what's worse is he pushed it off to Danny who just shrugs and tells you she can only help so much. That you're going to have to figure it out on your own essentially. Your dad is busy with work. Danny just doesn't know how to help.

Tardis!

You're different, and right now you wish you weren't. You wish you were like a...penguin or goose because Jesus christ Danny is yelling. You understand why and you want to tell her why she's wrong but...she won't let you have the chance. Okay maybe she's just raising her voice but, still you hate it. When you open your mouth and she gives you that Alpha Wolf looks that shoots you down.

You nod your head in understanding because she IS just trying to help.

You did it again, shifted and ended up with Carmilla's brown eyes staring at you. Her expression was still confused, she still looked tired but it slowly changed. You looked away for a moment and looked back...she wasn't there anymore. You were relieved in a way but wished you could have stared at her eyes longer. LaF was walking back with a...pink glob in a container swishing when they found you.

You both panicked and they gave you their big fluffy sweater to cover up your naked form. You both panicked more when you saw Perry and she stopped you both. To make luck worse, Danny was up and coming to find you. Now here you all are in your room, Perry cleaning your room (cleaning helps keeps her calm, LaF next to you puts a hand comfortingly on your back, Danny pacing back and forth, and your head hanging as you try to form words. None come out.

You can't control it. You wish you could.

Something about your actions being stupid comes out of Danny's mouth or maybe it was stupid like? You're not listening, but LaF stands up and snarls at Danny. LaF is unafraid of her, one of the few. They start snapping and arguing about you like you're not even there, so you push Perry's hand off of your back and head for the door between them. They don't even notice, they just move to let you through and continue on.

You open your door and look at them, your hand in the doorknob crushes it. You groan to yourself at your strength and back out of the room. This was yet another mistake because you collide with someone.

"Fucking great!" The person you run into hisses as they bend over to pick up the book that fell.

You turn and stop in your tracks, you can't think properly because it's her. Carmilla. Now you feel embarrassed even though you're sure that she remembers NOTHING. You can't help but feel embarrassed at your clear lack of control over your abilities like everyone likes to remind you. Her brow raises at you and before you can stop what you're doing, your mouth moves for you.

You're unaware of half of what you're saying, she seems to either put on a facade of listening to you (a real damn good one) or is actually listening to you. You stiffen when she crosses her arms and sighs. Is she bored? You choke and panic, trying to find a good excuse as to why you look tired, you could tell she was going to ask.

"...late night doing research on a- an article about the rate of students dropping out!" You managed to get yourself to drop your very unconvincing tone. You sounded sure, it's not a complete lie. You ARE doing an article on it.

Something in her expression snaps and she looks upset. Maybe frustrated, you're just not sure. Then she opens her mouth, those lips moving...but the words coming out shock out.

"Yes, I'm sure that was such competent research." It drips with sarcasm coming from her. Your brows furrow and you give her a look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You ask demandingly. She sighs.

"Don't you have better things to do rather than digging into shit you shouldn't be?" She shifts her weight to her other foot, why did you notice that? "You're digging a hole you won't crawl out of, buttercup. I suggest you drop this nonsense and...bullshit because no one cares about kids dropping out, especially not professors or the dean. The one who runs the school?" She waits and watches you. She's waiting for a response. When she gets none she gives a smug smirk and scoffs. "I have to run, Cupcake." She moves to walk away.

You haven't said anything because you're trying to form words to say to her. Seconds passed as she waited, and you're so frustrated at the words you want to say as well as her for being so smug. Goddamn it! She always does this, says something like this that renders you speechless. She always gets the last word.

Your hand shoots out and grabs her forearm. It's not enough to hurt her, in fact your touch is gentle but she freezes and looks from your hand to you. You give her a stern look open your mouth to speak. You feel like you have to say this or you'll forget it and it'll be useless later.

"No," you start, her eyes roll, "No. I'm not going to stop. Maybe yeah, college isn't AT ALL like I thought it would be. Hey, the world doesn't work the way I wished it would, people drop out, teachers don't care, and students just give up...not one seems to care. Maybe that's just the way the world works but it does not mean I have to accept that." She gives you a blank look, "We're given sh- crappy excuses and treatment and well...everyone deserves better, seniors, freshmen, kids working for a future, people trying to get parents off their back, hell...even you deserve so much better." Something flashes in her eyes for a moment and you drop her arm stepping back.

You wait for her response but get none. Carmilla just stands there confused, like she wants to say something but can't. You recognize the look on her face because everyone gives it to you and you're suddenly sick of it. Your brows furrow and you let out a groan.

"Forget it. I've enough of people yelling at me, especially for what I can't control and I'm so sick of people apologi-" She's giving you a worried look and your fists clench. You realize you can hear your room go quiet, your fight here must have gotten them to stop. Your lift your head up and clench your notebook in your hand before briskly walking off down the hall.

You lied about it, you might as well do actual research on it. The library is your destination, you just want away from there for awhile. God, you need a breather away from the hecticy you've come to know as your dorm room. You close your eyes for a few seconds trying to convince yourself to stop thinking so much.

Unfortunately, you can feel Carmilla following you. At least, she's giving you the distance you need, still following you. As soon as you make it to the library you turn around and snap, asking why she's following you. She doesn't look hurt. Instead, she just smirks at you and steps close, she smells like roses? How do you even know how that smells?

Your eyes move between her eyes for an explaination. She just drops your pen into your shirts front pack and her smirk deepens. Your mouth opens and closes.

"Dropped that, Cupcake. Catch you in another time." You'd want to decrypt that, but suddenly she's gone and you're trying to assess if you actually dropped it or if it was a ploy to follow you. You're unsure.

The range of emotion Carmilla showed you cements your decision to do this article. You have to prove everyone wrong. You can do this.

You wake up in your bed the day after. You have no idea how you did it, you're proud of yourself, though. It's NOT easy to do that! So you might feel a little silly for feeling so proud of yourself...but can anyone really blame you for being proud of that? You're a fucking shifter, something you didn't even know existed for all intents and purposes. There's hardly anyone like you left in the world, or so you're told, so you can't get any training. Everyone keeps telling you, it'll happen in time but...you're so agitated about that.

It should happen now, right? Having control over yourself?

You're not sure, so you don't ask.

But you're still proud as you exit your dorm room, peppermint stick hanging out of your mouth as you close your door with a hum. It's time for more research! It's helping distract you from the fact you're ignoring all of your friends almost, after yesterday...you need a break. You can't stand any of the possible yellings that might come with how disheveled you look.

You're in sweats, Silas-U hoodie, hair in a messy bun, with a peppermint stick sticking out of the corner of your mouth. You look like you've been too lazy to change, or that's how Perry would put it. You're just comfy and unwilling to change just because you'll be at the library for a book or two before you're back. You really don't want to put up with the lectures, so you're on your own tonight.

Just as you turn around, you knock into someone and hear familiar muttering as books are dropped. You stop mid apology to find it as Carmilla, sunglasses perched on the top of her head, the light hitting her just right, yup. You have a girl crush on her. You still totally dislike her...right?

With the way she's staring at you for a moment, your stomach does a flip and you wish you could turn her head. It makes you so unsure of yourself...you can't even place the look in her eyes. She recovers quickly though and her bored expression is back. You feel really bad for that, you can't stop the words that come out of your mouth next.

"Oh my god! Carm-" she raises a brow at the nickname so you backtrack, "-milla! I'm so sorry!" She looks unconvinced and is threatening to smirk, "I didn't see you there! I mean I had my back turned around so I really couldn't have seen you," you're on your knees picking up her books frantically, just hoping you'll shut up, "I just- I mean...I didn't hear you either so it really is my fault...how do you walk without sound by the way? LaF has a theory you're a-" she bends down in front of you, arms resting over her knee's, hand hanging off the side. She's...smiling genuinely at you and it's just weird because she usually doesn't smile at all, "vampire." A brow quirks up, "and how are you even listening to me?" She chuckles. Wow...that sound.

She leans forward, hands grabbing your wrists causing you to drop your books, holy hufflepuff her touch is cold. Maybe Laf was right. Vampire. You don't care right now. You stop talking, and breathing somehow? She's watching your face as she gives your wrists a squeeze and drops them. Her index finger finds your chin and lifts it up, closing your mouth. She looks so smug. God damn it.

"It's cute, creampuff," She admits and shakes her head, "Breathe." You instantly take a deep breath and she looks both genuinely happy and even smugger about that, "Good." She sighs it out and goes to grab the books.

You can't help but watch her, still knelt down in front of her books. She moves easily, carefully pushing your frozen hands out of the way. She grabs yours too and you...are kind of shocked about that. Not only is her touch gentle, cold, but comfortable, she's also helping you. This is not the Carmilla you know- not that you know her.

"I'm sorry." You try again.

She gives you a look and stands up, book in one hand. She outstretches her other to you, and you instantly take it. Suddenly you're pulled up, facing her. Well shit. This is confusing. Your hormones are whack or something because right now...her eyes are way too familiar. _Hormones? Really?_ You scold yourself for the lame excuse. Her hand stays in yours, and when it's gone you wonder where it's gone until she runs a hand through her hair and removes her sunglasses. She shrugs at you, you feel guilty.

"No big deal," she shrugs, "I could have been more careful," you're shocked at the admission. She shuffles to grab your books, her pen inbetween her teeth. Does she have to do that? Your favorite blue pen...you don't mind but it's unnecessary and...she's handing you your things? "I'm asuming its your article?" She asks softly. You nod and take your stuff, she smiles for a split second, "Library. There're public records of drop outs on the computer, you can't check it out but, you can copy it down." Your pen is handed to you. She must have wiped it off.

You're stunned for a few minutes. She smirks at your reaction or lack thereof. She's so damn smug...

"That's...uncharacteristically nice of you." That was the wrong thing to say because her facade is back up. You miss the Carmilla you just got to witness...damn you and your mouth.

"Yeah, well," her voice sounds hard like she's trying to convince the both you she doesn't care, "I don't want you to go insane over some trivial article."

"Of course not.." you mutter and close your eyes for a moment.

"They might replace you with someone, louder, more obnoxious. Perhaps, even more, shrill." You look up, eyes ready to murder her, "Someone less excited. Someone not as...profound with words. Even if they don't know what they're talking about." She walks off towards her room.

You stand there as she walks away, trying to decipher what she meant? Was that...a compliment? An insult? A mix of both it seems. You give up after a couple of moments and head to the library. Are her words still kind of? You're not sure how to word it or exactly say it outloud but it feels like more of a compliment? Maybe she's secretly a softy and you just got to see soft Carmilla?

You shake your head. No way at all was that it. She had a rep for being disaffected. By herself. Maybe she just pitied you because she can hear when your friends are yelling, or at least tell. Maybe she remembers those dreams...that is something you cannot think about right now so you don't. You shake it off and force your feet to move towards the library.

Thankfully, Kirsch is the only one you run into. He, at least, has stopped flirting after you introduced him to the concept that maybe...just maybe you were gay. He seemed happy about it really, more or less that you told him, so that weird friendship is happening...happened? You're unsure. He's just a big puppy and at least, he respects you now. You still get called nerd hottie, but you think it's the awful fraternity's influence more than anything. You correct him, he calls you nerdie, you accept that. It's progress.

All of your friendships are progress really.

You met LaF by accident...by accident you mean as you were walking through the halls in the labs, you heard a loud BANG. You ran towards it afraid someone was hurt. There stood LaF in the middle of the room, black across their face, hair on fire, a big smile on their face, goggles covering their eyes, and lab coat sleeves pushed up. Everyone was so shocked they couldn't help. You panicked and dumped a bowl of water on them. They turned to you and smiled brighter. You both stared at each other until you cracked up. They're like a sibling you never had.

That is how you met Perry too, she came running into the room spraying the fire extinguisher everywhere, then promptly yelled at LaF. You introduced yourself and covered for LaF or tried to. Perry caught onto it and you got your first look at motherly Perry who lectured you too. Then she thanked you for trying to help them and offered you brownies, you tried to turn it down but...LaF dragged you by the arm and you got pulled into their friendship with no way out. You don't regret it really.

Danny...Danny is most definitely a friend. You're first. On your first day here she was kind enough to stop by and show you around. The woman who was showing you around was rather...stuck up. With Danny while awkward at first, it was nice to just joke around and be showed around like meeting a friend for the first time that you met over the internet. It was nice, you haven't gotten rid of her yet. You just wished she and LaF wouldn't fight so much.

As soon as the Library doors are in front of you, you shake the other thoughts out of your head. You really need to distract yourself. THIS should help you greatly, and it will. You're determined to get this done, you have enough time. A few weeks ahead of yourself to get it done. Then you can relax. For now? You're ready to work on it. You're determined.

You try to distract yourself for the better part.

You learn two things.

Really shouldn't surprise you.

 _ **One:**_ The library is really creepy when it starts to get late...you swear you can hear something scittering in the background. You try to place that on it just being dark. Old. Musty. Musty? how- no. You're not even going to try to ask that question tonight. Screw it.

 _ **Two:**_ Carmilla was really right. After trying to look through book after book...after book...you find nothing. You really don't want Carmilla to be right so you pushed it off as long as you can. She can't be right. It means you'll have to thank her, which wouldn't be bad if you didn't feel guilty, and if she wouldn't snark! Unfortunately, however, she was right. You had to look it up on a computer. Peppermint stick gone now. You jotted down what you could before your eyes started to close.

As soon as they did close, your body gave a familiar ache. You'd been fighting it as much as possible...as soon as you made it to your dorm, you threw your books on your bed and paced the room. You were tired as hell but your body wanted to shift. You either had to give into it and risk being yelled at or...have no sleep tonight.

You gave in.

The wind felt good in your fur, you would have smiled if you could. It was just like all the other nights. This time, the familiar yellow eyes come a bit closer, you can see some form of a shape. A cat of some kind, their fur must have been extremely dark, however, because most features were hidden. You felt safer with them looking at you. They never approach you and you give them a bow as a thank you, they look taken back, but nod again.

You run. Eventually, you're tired and close your eyes for just a moment by a familiar tree.

Fuck.

Your eyes open the next time you shift. Damn it. Panic immediately set in.

You look down.

Yup naked. Damn it! What's with that? Well, it is counterproductive and...odd for a lion to wear clothes. It's off for your to even be turning into a goddamn lion in the first place. Your mind is battling with itself over the lack of clothes, you don't notice the familiar infuriating face until you hear the sound of a window being opened.

Your head snaps up to meet Carmilla's eyes immediately. She blinks but, this time, her eyes never leave yours. Is it considerate and..odd? What's weirder is the look in Carmilla's eyes you could guess is something like understanding. Maybe even sorry? You're not sure and don't have enough time to think about it before she disappears. You take the chance to stand up and shoot off.

This is like a routine. You shred or declothe. Shift. Run. Familiar yellow eyes. Run more. Fall asleep. Wake up near the tree. Look up to see Carmilla watching you like she's having a dream. Soon enough Carmilla will get the idea this can't be a dream if it keeps happening. Why is it happening? Like...why that tree? You're not sure. it only embarrasses you as you make it to the shed and pull on new clothes before you make your way to your dorm, just to get in your room. You need to relax.

As soon as you're in the hallway leading to your room, you see Carmilla. Almost like a reply her eyes lock onto yours, she freezes and looks like she needs to do something or say something. There's that understanding from earlier. You blink in surprise when someone blocks your view, you panic, shit...it's Danny. She must be checking up on you!

Carmilla see's this and looks from Danny to you several times with a raised brow. You look confused at the same time, you look like you've just been hit by a truck. Like you need help. You don't even have to ask before Danny is walking to your room and Carmilla curses to herself before trying to look busy.

You thought she was going to walk away but instead...she runs into Danny. She just ran into Danny. For you. THAT is the most surprising thing yet.

"Watch it, fangface!" Danny snaps. Carmilla sighs and picks up her books. You frown that Danny didn't even help her...what was with those two? And the fang face! Really?

"I should say the same to you, gladiator." Carmilla spits back. You zone out watching her completely distract Danny.

She gives you the hand movement to go ahead. You can't help but mouth a thank you, she nearly smirks at you until Danny becomes ruder. You waste no more time and get to your room. Before you can think about it anymore, you get into your room and shut the door. You sigh loudly and shake your head.

You feel guilty...you left Carmilla to Danny's hands even if she's not very nice. She was still helping you. For whatever reason she tried to help you. You've only been so rude to her...it's rather unfair of you to be like this to her, you think. You sigh. You need to make it up to her somehow.

CLANK. You snap around, hand to your chest, seeing Perry picking whatever she dropped up. A small statue of Lois Lane your dad made you. She mutters a sorry and you take a deep breath. You shake your head trying to get a hold of yourself. She looks worried but waits for you to talk first.

"It's fine, Perry." You look around. She's cleaned up. "What are you doing here? Besides cleaning my room...which, by the way, thank you." She smiles at you brightly.

You stopped trying to tell her she didn't have to clean. It's her way of coping and getting through the world. It helps her so you dare not say anything about it. Besides...clean room?

"Oh, no problem dear!" She shifts uncomfortably for a bit, "I uhm...was talking to LaFontaine. I realized I was...out of line really," you open your mouth but she stops you, "No. Laura. Let me." You nod. She smiles. "I had people to teach me, so I am sorry. I can't imagine...you don't have anyone really to teach you. I don't know what that's like." Before she can finish you pull her into a hug.

"Thank you." She hugs you back at your sincere words. It's the first time any of them has apologized for this. It feels like a weight has been lifted off your chest.

"Laur-" You jump back fifteen feet, ironically like a cat, when your door swings open and Danny practically shouts. Well not shouts...your ears are sensitive today. "God! I'm so sorry Laura!"

You pout and rub your head. You actually managed to hit it on the ceiling. You really must be a cat at this point. You sigh and take her hand.

The next few minutes are spent, her apologizing, you telling her it's fine, over and over until it's beyond frustrating. As soon as things are settled you smile at your friends and bring up progress on your article.

God you wished you hadn't.

So...maybe you shouldn't have brought up your article. They're all up and antsy about it, which you don't get. When you asked why, you got a mix of answers ranging from 'it's not that important, you really shouldn't worry', 'the dean could kick you out!', to even 'That's very personal! Aren't you digging into students backgrounds', from both of them? At that point, you opened your door, stepped out, slammed it shut and left down the hall.

Surprisingly, you saw Carmilla as hit your head against the wall. She stopped in front of you and gave you a cookie. One of the cookies you left for her, in front of her door, because you can't seem to function like a human being, for her help. She didn't say anything else but did give you a smirk and continued on her way. You were confused. When it came to Carmilla, you seemed to be left confused a lot.

So here you are now, in your empty dorm room, papers scattered about you. Your article. Right.

You sigh.

This thing was causing you a bunch of problems, why were they so afraid of it? It's not like it was the freaking plague! You could do this! Did your friends not believe in you? No, you shook your head. That wasn't it because you knew they all thought you could convince anyone with your writing. Maybe you should look into that, but for now? You're happy to just get this sorted through since you have enough time.

This morning was like the others. Worse part? You swear Carmilla is already aware...no. You shake your head. NOW is not the time for that. Some other time.

You sigh and turn back to the article in front of you. Eventually, you give in because it's all so confusing and set it aside. You can work on that another time, you have another article to get done. THIS one isn't for a class, it's for the school newspaper. You got the job (surprisingly) and while you like it, you don't like sports. So this was going to be fun.

You have about a week to get this written. You have to interview a few people, Theo, Melanippe, Kirsch, Danny, and Sef.

It's funny though because you don't even know what sports Theo and Melanippe are in. Kirsch is the mascott. It's kind of adorable really that you're doing this? You know he's passionate about it somehow, so his eyes will light up. He's like a little brother sometimes. Danny is Basketball, Sef is crosscountry.

With these thoughts, you move your notes on them out from your bag.

Theo is...a guy. You think he's on the male basketball team? You're not sure. Melanippe is probably basketball too, summers seem to love it. You don't know either very well so it's hard to say.

Melanippe was head of the summers, or going to be? As far as you know, her family is full of great archers, and a long list of head of the summers runs in her veins. Fun.

You DO know that Theo is head of the Zeta's. He's a 'really good bro who can chug like a six pack in no time!' as well as a decent player. You're not sure you want to know what that means, so you don't dwell on it. Fuck it. You don't care.

Kirsch loves putting on the suit and being out on the field or court. Not everyone knows he is the mascott, so you're sure it'll be interesting to write him in. He's been a zeta since he got here basically, they swept him up. He has a big thing for school spirit, you told him he could be a cheerleader. He wasn't opposed to it. That made you smile. He's a good guy underneath the frat speak.

Danny is...well Danny you think is from one of the families that always become a Summer. It's a family thing, you're not certain on that but you do know that it's possible. She loves being a summer and standing up against the Zeta's. It's almost like a past time. She's great at basketball, though, on the court she can dominate. It's funny how you think she moves like a wolf in the forest...yeah no. You shake your head. No time for that! Article!

And Sef...well Sef...there's a reason she'll be missed when she graduates. She's probably the fastest the school has gotten in quite awhile. She can hurdle your ass off, she can run faster than Danny which...says a lot. You liked watching her because she seemed so inzone. She asked you to watch her and time her once, that's how you became known of her. You watched Danny train and she politely asked you to time her. You did. She was nice. She also had a thing for Danny? You're unsure of that.

Still you smile at the memory. Danny and you were supposed to grab some pie, she got stuck training so you stayed for awhile. Sef likes to train on schedule, she usually had a friend help her, but her friend was busy. So when she asked you? How could you say no? She was awfully nice, which was surprising because of the way the school talked about her. Like she was just as mean if not more so than Carmilla. She's not. You mentally place Sef next to Danny and can't help but laugh at the image.

Sef is only a couple of inches taller than you, so really the height difference is hilarious. It'd be like a small bouncy dog looking up to a german shepard. That really was adorable, to you.

No, damn it! You shake your head. You HAVE to get this done, not goof off. For whatever reason, though...you can't focus. You need to, you know you can't so you just flip your notebook shut with a sigh. Yeah. Life's complicated.

You're a shifter, you should really stop overthinking this. You could potentially hurt someone. That's frightening to you because you've never had that kind of power, or thought about it! You, Laura Hollis, who climbed a tree to save a cat, who refused to let your goldfish live in its fishbowl instead of the nice point, could possibly harm someone or something? That would make your dad laugh.

You frown at the thought. He'd laugh at you for thinking this? He didn't even tell you in the first place. How would that be fair?

You groan knowing you're fighting with yourself because you're exhausted. You need a goddamn break. A knock at your door causes you to snap out of your thoughts. You sigh grumbling to yourself and open it.

On the ground is a cupcake, multicolored, with what looks like icing in the shape of your journal? You pick it up and look around in the hallway. You see a flash of flannel and dark curls before a door is shut. Did...Carmilla? You're not sure so you just shrug and dig in. Why not? If it's poisoned you won't have to deal with stress.

You feel relieved when the next time your shifting happens you wake up to Carmilla missing. You also feel kind of odd about it, because it became a thing. It's happened five times so far, each time Carmilla usually showed up or you saw her. _That's weirder,_ you think.

Much to your suprise, you wake up with a sheet draped around your body. You started to panic but realized LaF or someone from your group probably followed you after you ignored them so much. You try not to focus on the fact the sheets really don't smell like any of them. You look around quickly before your morning routine starts.

It's become a habit by now. You can't shake it. Maybe you should google how to break habits...or youtube it...you could possibly find something profound?

You sigh as you make your normal way to your dorm. Oddly no one is looking for you today, they're not there. It kind of strikes you as surprised and...a little worried? They ALWAYS look for you. What made today differently? You thought about knocking on Perry's door but decided against it.

As soon as you got to your door you stopped and saw a note,

_We've all gone out to get some breakfast. Ms. Karnstein said you didn't feel well so we decided to leave you be feel better soon!_

It's Perry's writing. You wonder why the obnoxious punk rocker would cover for you...you wonder why it makes you happy. Then you think it's all confusing and you're pretty damn tired, so you push the thoughts aside and enter your room. You're happy enough to reach your bed and fall into it with a sigh until your alarm rings.

It's mostly an uneventful day full of bored classes, trying to get away with helping LaF experiment, failing at that. Helping Perry with flyers for a bake off soon. Danny and Sef complimenting form and such (you wish you didn't feel like a third wheel), and even Sef asking you to help her again.

You were surprised to hear that she knew Carmilla, they apparently have been friends for awhile. Siblings more like, nothing at all like Carmilla and her older sister (who Sef likes greatly), and it seems a little sweet. Sef sticks around despite seeing the dick side of Carmilla often, and Carmilla gladly gives her confidence or rather words of doing it or you're an idiot. So that was new. Carmilla does have friends!

After that, you went about your day. You tried not to spend too much time with everyone because you have your article due. Also...you're sure that more lecturing is to come. So when lunchtime comes around you're kind of expecting everyone to show up and interrupt you. You usually don't mind but you've felt...off lately. It upsets you.

What you didn't expect was to see Danny walking towards you, looking right at you too. You sighed and started to close your notebook until...you felt someone beside you, Danny glared at whoever it was and walked off. THAT was a first, you're sure. You somehow knew who it was before you even turned. It was a familiar scent of cinnamon and strawberries you couldn't place.

Carmilla sat next to you on the steps, a book opened in her lap. Behind aviators, her eyes were hidden but you could tell she glanced to you. She shifted slightly and you couldn't help but stare at her. Her leather jacket hugging around her in the cold air. You tilted your head but placed the bag of cookies (you really should stop eating them) in between you two. She looked between them and you before grabbing one and eating.

You smiled as you turned back to your notebook and wrote.

You two remained silent for most of the time, but oddly it felt comfortable. Like nothing needed to be said. So neither of you talked, you just ate cookies, wrote, read, and remained silent. She even hummed once or twice a few songs you recoginzed. It made you wonder about her singing voice if it was as velvet as her normal voice. You sighed and continued writing.

Eventually, the will to thank her became too much and you couldn't help it. She rose a brow as you struggled to say something.

"Thank you!" She said quickly. She huffed, she was confused. "I mean uh- thank you for...taking the heat off of me with Danny. Also, you know...sitting with me. I don't like to sit alone, but most people tend to interrupt my process whenever I try to write. I know I talk a lot but uh-" She finally looked up at you unimpressed, "-yeah...thank you." She shrugged.

"Don't get any ideas that this is going to become a normal thing, sweetie," she informed you. It was your turn to huff, "I wouldn't leave anyone to Big Red's fate...except Sef." As soon as you laughed at that, she tried to stop the smile on her face as she turned back to her book.

It was true. Sef really wouldn't mind. Her smile was bright and she still tried to fight it back. You finally got control over your laughter and shook your head.

"Also the cupcake...thanks." She snorted and adjusted her book.

"Of course, _Cupcake._ Seemed like you needed it." You won't argue with that because you DID need something sweet.

The icing hit the spot, it tasted homemade. You kind of want her to make another just to test your theory but you remain silent. The silence rested for awhile. It became comfortable again which you enjoyed, you just wished you could thank her in a way she'd believe you. You sigh at that. Your friends probably thank you hate them.

You're taken by surprise when a book is dropped in your lap. You blink at it and look over to Carmilla who's leaned over. She points to a line and asks you to read it. You eye her suspiciously and pick the book up carefully to read it. She panicks slightly but relaxes when she see's how you handle it. You do as she asked.

"I am me. I am me. I can breathe and fight on my own. Don't push, listen. We are us. Let us be instead of being you and me." You read it and become confused about the meaning. Carmilla doesn't wait for your answer or reply either, she stands up, grabs her book and turns to leave in a matter of seconds.

"Cupcake," she gives you a way of her hand, "See you around." And she 's gone.

"Thanks..." you mutter after her. You hope she hears you in some way.

The next day is the same to you. Same routine. Same habit. It feels trivial. Carmilla covers you again with your friend...you really have to ask her about that.

You go to class.

Help friends.

Help people.

Write.

Today, however, at Lunch you get a surprise. Carmilla sits with you again, she just takes a seat in front of you and reads her book. She even ignores the raised eyebrow you give her because you distinctly remember her words from yesterday...really. This girl is something else. Not that you mind. Her bag is set next to her and she sighs muttering something about idiots. You smile and look down to your food.

You become distracted in your own thoughts.

Your dad called last night, you were irritated and snapped at him. In truth he didn't deserve any of that and still told you it was alright but you felt like it wasn't. Like you hurt him and didn't mean to, so now you were thinking about it and wondering if that was what being a shifter meant. Accidentally hurting people, or if it was just your body being off lately. You're frustrated with the whole thing.

You look up at Carmilla and watch her as you push food around on your plate.

You wonder when and why she became so nice to you. She's helped you out for almost...no reaon that you can think of. It's out of the blue to you, maybe she's sick? Why did that frighten you...maybe because you think a friendship is possible.

Your dynamic if you can call it that has changed almost completely with her! You've spent the past two or three months with her being rude and snarky at you. You snapped back or were rude and snarky back. She was insufferable and now things just seem different. It's only been a few days but...maybe you're just overthinking this whole thing. Yeah. That's it.

You're brought out of your thoughts when you look up to find Carmilla watching you too. You give her a small smile and she opens her mouth until a flash of dark skin causes you to stand up, bend over, and grab her bag before Sef sits in its place. Carmilla's bag is placed next to you and she gives you a confused look until she looks at Sef. Sef is smirking at her knowingly before her head tilts your way. Carmilla glares at her and hits her. You sigh and shake your head.

"Stupid mutt," She mutters under her breath.

Before she can pick up her book again you push your plate towards her. She looks confused again. It's kind of cute, but you nod to your plate and she looks to you again for confirmation. You nod and she doesn't need to be asked again. A fry is placed in her mouth and you smile.

She started to smile until Sef snickered. You kiced Sef and glared.

"Ouch! Hollis, not nice!" She exclaimed. Dark eyes giving you a sad look. She had such a puppy pout.

You rolled your eyes and Carmilla looked amused. She gave Sef a victory smile and you all fell into a comfortable thing. Sef and Carmilla would bicker like siblings. You'd listen and add in commentary until Carmilla would give you a pout, which caused Sef to snicker. Carmilla would hit her or comment about Danny. Which you didn't understand why she brought up Sef's crush.

Carmilla did talk to you which was nice. She was even halfway nice. Halfway meaning...she did snark but you think that's just normal. She asked about your article but she didn't yell, she instead gave tips which Sef would chime in for more information. You asked her about why she was helping and wanted to ask why now...but the last one you didn't. She said you had guts, and as long as you weren't getting illegal information there's no harm. Sef made a comment in german which you really didn't understand, after that, Carmilla elbowed her and told her to shut up. Sef laughed but the wind knocked out of her.

You eyed them suspiciously. They looked innocent when you did.

They had a unique friendship. Definitely siblings.

At one point amongst bickering and telling them about your sports article, Carmilla was the friend Sef had, Carmilla also was somewhat proud of Sef, Kirsch pulled you away to ask you something. You weren't paying attention but apparently your answer was enough. Something about helping out with...something? You weren't sure. You could ask him later.

When you returned, you were surprised to find that your two guests were gone. No sight of them, but you did look at your notebook and found a few neatly written corrections. You could tell it was Carmilla's handwriting and it made you smile. You didn't think too much on why.

You went about your day. No sign of them for the rest of it either. Not that you looked for them...but you did miss their presence. You didn't think too much on that either.

You spend the rest of your day as usual. You do text Danny and Sef. They mostly answer a few things, mainly because Melanippe is kind of scary. You thought about stopping by and talking to her but as soon as she released an arrow and hit an apple ontop of a fellow Summer's head...you thought maybe another day. Danny spoke highly of her skill. Sef just told you a few facts, she doesn't know her.

A few times Sef asked about Carmilla. You didn't understand why, but you told her Carmilla seemed nice. She admitted Carmilla could be once she warmed up to you, you just had to give her a chance. So maybe you've thought the wrong things about her...you should, at least, give her a shot. She didn't leave you with the best impression, but eh. Nows a good time.

Your night is boring until you feel the familiar urge. You're in the middle of jotting down a few quotes. Something about stars. just because, the urge aches your bones. Your mind is no longer at east, your legs tingle with the need to be some place you can shift safely. You sight and try to focus like Perry thought might help.

It makes it worse.

Your skin heats and you know very well you can't stand it. You have to cave in. So you push yourself out of bed before it becomes too much. You think maybe this is the way, the way to help. Then you remember Danny's warnings about being caught.

 _Just tonight,_ you think to yourself.

So you find yourself in the forest near the shed, you have enough sense to at least put your clothes in the shed.

Your body feels like it's on fire. Bones crack, reform, reset, heal. Skin moves into place, muscles form. It should be painful to you, but at some point, your mind blacks out. It's so weird because you can begin to feel so much pain, you know it should hurt but your mind blacks out and you can't remember if you did or not.

This form feels oddly freeing. Your legs beg to run so you do. You just want to run to your hearts content. Danny told you it was something that all shifters experience, running pushes your body to its limits. For new shifters, it lets their bodies get used to this new form. So it feels freeing to feel the wind in your fur.

A white spot jumps into view. You crawl against the ground. It's a rabit, and you want to catch it. Not harm, but catch. It feels like a fun game...you hope. If you could smirk at how somehow sneaky you are, you would have. You're hardly the epitome of stealth. You're clumsy as they come. So it IS nice.

Just as you congratulate yourself on being so stealthy, your paw lands on a twig and the rabbit and you chase after it. It's fun while it lasts and you find yourself able to move flexibly. Kind of proud of yourself in a weird way at that. The rabbit, however, is much either smarter or quicker because it gets away. You try to look for it but stop when you notice them again...the yellow eyes.

They give off more warmth and safety now. It's odd but you stop and watch them. It forms slowly moves into the light, you might have gasped if you could. A big black cat stood there, moving into whatever light was there. Black fur shined so beautifully under the light, it moved gracefully. It was showing itself to you! THAT was amazing!

You were still frozen but as soon as it stopped moving towards you, as if it needed permission, you moved towards it. It froze completely and let you move to it. You sniffed the air and deemed it no threat. It tilted its head at you in such a familiar way...you really had to figure that out. You backed up and watched it.

It's head looked down a path then back to you. You knew what it wanted. Before it could do anything, you bolted down the path. You didn't turn back to look at it, but it seemed to get the idea and chased after you. It was such a nice thing...to run with another shifter. A feline one at that. You knew very well it was a shifter too. You just did.

In the end, the panther won. It turned to leave and you felt disappointed, you wished you could have known it longer. Before it left, however, yellow eyes met yours and...it felt like a promise you'd see each other again. Soon. You felt happier and watched it go.

You spent a few minutes out until you felt tired. You dreamt of blood and the thumping again. It was horrible.

When you woke up you cursed yourself. A-fucking-gain. This was becoming too much to handle! The nightmare played freshly in your mind. You looked up to find Carmilla staring at you.

This time, she gave you a smile. An actual smile, god given smile. Genuine. You didn't see it to often and knew that the world didn't either. You wanted to reply or say something, maybe smile back. She WAS aware now. She knew you woke up naked by that goddamn tree. She must think of you as insane or...something. Maybe creepy. That's not it.

Loud happy shouts fill the air and you freeze as you sit up. Carmilla heard it too. Shit. It sounded like the alchemy club...that would not be good at all. You didn't want to have to deal with that. You looked and tried to determine if you had enough time to run away, but with how near they sounded, you guessed not.

Carmilla looked down to you and gave you a sympathetic look. You brought your knees to your chest and hugged them. There was not enough time for this. You looked up at her and what she did next would shock you.

She put a hand on the frame and vauted herself over. She landed perfectly on the ground, your eyes darted from her to the window. How did she do that? THAT was not something you learn as a normal college student. It seemed to be normal as she dusted her hands off and stood up.

She moved towards you quickly, your hands wrapped around you tighter. She slows her steps and her body language softens, so does your grip. She's not here to make you feel uncomfortable and she's making it clear. She doesn't want you to think that so you stop. She reaches you and you just look up at her. This is too much.

Her hand extends to you. You hesitate but take it. Once she pulls you up, you stare at her looking for an answer.

Her answer is given to you in the form of her jacket being draped across you. You're shocked for a minute but the look she gives you...you shrug it on quickly and zip it up with ease. It's bigger on you and covers you mostly. It should suffice for now.

Suddenly she's in your space, her front barely touching yours, her lips near your ear. You oddly don't feel threatened. This is weird.

"Follow me, Cupcake. Do you trust me?" You can't stop the nod that you give her. She grips your hand and steps back. "Good." She smiles again. "Follow my lead. Stay behind me." She drags you off.

"Wait..Carm?" She looks at you. "Where are we-"

"The back door cutie." What back door? You have no choice but to let her help you now.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell/talk/chat at me here: http://brokemytourniquet.tumblr.com/


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